Now That's Hot, Mary Todd

What’s hotter than an Australian Open women’s final match between Maria Sharapova and Ana Ivanovic?

Ok, you’re right. Nothing!

But the court temperature during the final was pretty close as it sizzled to 113 degrees, according to Bud Collins during his pre-match report. The excitable Collins, who is one of my favorite sports guys, seemed ready to… ok, ok, I’m trying to work in a joke here about Collins watching the two hot, young tennis stars by using the old Keith Olbermann line about premature jocularity, but damn it, it’s just too late for me to think of clever @#$%& like that.

Anyway, the Aussie Open wraps up sometime in the next day or so with the men’s final between some dude and another dude who defeated Roger Federererererer in straight sets. Talk about a TV ratings nightmare. Mary Todd Lincoln just called and said she’d rather watch Abe get shot again.

Hey, I think that’s my first Mary Todd reference this year.